Joy as Universe

 

My Outrageous Love Letter written in Outrageous Love Letter Writing Group on October 19, 2020:

Joy is a First Principle of Kosmos. I am just starting to figure out what First Principles mean, not for me as a skin encapsulated ego, but perhaps for Kosmos itself?  

What does Joy mean for a Unique Self?

I feel deeply tender and satisfied, like being held in my mother's arms, when I imagine seeing through my heart that Kosmos is experiencing in me, as me, through with a "Jamie" experience.  I love it!!!

I feel like a verb of Kosmos... The universe cannot get enough of "Jaimie-ing".  

Perhaps it is a different mode of witnessing/co-creating the Universe from the inside? 

When I feel this intimacy with the Universe, I realize something about my own perceptions.  Kosmos revels in all my awareness, reflections, feelings.  Kosmos is ecstatic when I perceive something as "good" or "positive".  However, even when I am perceiving the world as "wrong" and "unfair" and "bad", Kosmos revels and suffers in those perceptions just as much!  Kosmos is just as ecstatic to taste "Jaimie-ness"... when I cry, when I have been wronged, when I reject the present moment.  Kosmos is witnessing and savoring experience.  

This is an all feeling and empathetic divinity I call "SHE" or "GOD".  God suffers with me. SHE gives me all the agency to make decisions, even when those decisions destroy life.

That is the God caressing me in the arms of SHE.  Not a controlling GOD, but an empathetic erotic living GOD who feels and experiences "Jaimie".